So I have got to say, last night I think I had my first real panic attack. It was terrible. I was at caregroup and I was freaking out because I couldn't find my stress ball. It sounds so dumb when I say it out loud, but I just felt so...out of control! My stress ball is my one escape from my picking and I couldn't find it! It was like my brain was just stuck in a loop of "where is my stress ball?" over and over and over again. I couldn't keep my hands from going to my face. It was like they were magnetized or something. I just felt like, wow, this is it...I'm going to destroy my face and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Luckilly for me, I was surrounded by people of God, and they found me a pair of fuzzy socks rolled into a ball, and I got to squeeze that. I guess what it comes down to is a feeling of control, of power. And at that moment, well, I didn't have ANY of it.
I tried to focus through our lesson, and there was something that caught my attention. Check this out, I think I need to get this tattooed on me. (Don't worry people, not any time soon, I don't have the money right now.)
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7)
I think I just need to engrain this verse on the fiber of my very soul.
http://www.icfchurch.org/spirit_of_fear.htm
Isn't it amazing when God gives us a clear verse of encouragement?! I'm so sorry you had the panic attack Liz...your sis in law has them too so you are in 'good' company there. :-( I'm praying for you today!
ReplyDeleteI was proud of you last night, you got your fuzzy socks and then focused. I have no doubt that you will get this under control and it will no longer be in control of you. <3
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