Hola Clase!

So I guess I've noticed that when things are going well, I tend to stop thinking about it.  For a while I felt like I had this demon under control.  My stress ball was a permanent member of my purse, and I'd been feeling successful.  Boy was I ever wrong.  Maybe I got cocky, I guess.  Maybe it's just my lack of ability to multi-task?  Maybe it was the thought that, "Yeah buddy! I got this!" that made me stop focusing on it.   I guess I have to challenge myself....complacency is my enemy! Gosh, it really makes me feel like a pessimist though.  I scold myself for being encouraged, for being proud.  Proud...doesn't that come before the fall or something like that?  I have to constantly remind myself that 

I DIDN'T FAIL....  I just had a setback.  And setbacks are normal, right?  Not when you look like this, though, I say to myself.  It was so nice for a while, not having an itchy scab somewhere all the time.  My hands were actually clean.  My little girl wasn't looking at me and saying, "What happened mommy? You have owie?"  That breaks my heart.  I want so bad to be a good influence for her, but I guess the fact of the matter is, when it comes to this battle, I'm not.  Right? I mean maybe it's not just a matter of quitting a habit, maybe it's a matter of changing ME, not just on the outside.  Well I've started working out, too!!  6:45 am.  That's right, it's January in Michigan and I am up at 5:30 to go work out at 6:45.  I have to admit, I like being up before the world.  Maybe I should focus on that good feeling?  

What is the word...endorphines? Maybe I can find a way to get that high without picking.  Maybe I can get that rush from a good workout.  I guess it's a place to start.  Anywhere is better than here, huh?