Where to start....

Gosh, I don't even know where to start.  I always start these blogs and never get very far.  But, in my defense, my last one got hacked and now I have no idea what the password is!  I mean come on, who hacks someones blog? Really?  Anyway, I decided I needed to start up again, if for no other reason than to document my progress to myself.  Honestly, I've come to learn that when it comes to me, and what I think, I'm all that matters.  Only I can make myself better, and I don't care what anyone thinks about me but me, and God.  I don't need anyone else's approval.  That being said, I haven't had my approval for a really long time, and I'm sick of it.  So, here I am!  Well I wanted to put the mountains on here, because I feel like mountains are a perfect picture of what life is really like.  You have highs, and lows, but when you get to the top, you see how far you've come.  It's never easy, you can't just jump from the bottom to the top.  You have to climb, one agonizing foot at a time.  Oh, but when you get there, it's SO worth it.  Or so I'm told, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not there yet.  :)

On a different note, I'd like to share with those of you who know a little about me, and my problem, how I've been going about getting better!  Well, first thing first....I got a therapist!  Sorry to those of you who aren't fans, but I am.  Sometimes you need a third party to stand back and hold up a mirror to your brain, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, Brad suggested I get a stress ball.  Not gonna lie, at first I was like, "yeah right dude, I don't think that's gonna help, you're nuts."  (No offense Brad if you ever read this....)  But, I decided to try it.  I actually BROKE my first one!  That's right, this little girl right here, broke her first stress ball.  It's now a stress potato.  :P  Anyway, I take the little thing everywhere I go.  I mean everywhere.  I am seriously amazed at how much that has been helping.  It's become like a best friend.  Second, I've picked up crocheting.  OK, I've TRIED to pick up crocheting.  I've been getting irritated with it a lot, but I've been trying.  And lastly, most importantly, so far, I've been taking baby steps.  Instead of looking at it like, "I've got to beat this! For good!"  I've been trying to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time.  I sit down in class and I say to myself, "Ok, let's get through this class period without picking at anything."  And then after class, I look back, and assess how well I did.  *pats self on back*.  It's going pretty well if I do say so myself.

But there is a lot more to it, I've learned.  I've also been keeping a journal, and working on my boundaries in my care group at church.  (Oh, that's another thing! People! People are essential to the healing process.  If I didn't have a support team, I wouldn't be getting anywhere!) It's amazing how much you learn about yourself when you have someone to talk to one on one, and a group to talk to, too.  Anyway, that's this months progress so far....I'm really going to try to document this, if for no other reason than to motivate myself a little better.  Here's hoping I can commit to something.  Here's to being a starter and a finisher, not just a starter.